Wonder of Wonders, Miracle of Miracles

My branch of the company that I work for has, probably, seventy employees. Nearly all of these employees at some point during the day need to use a particular database. Unfortunately, for some reason, this database can only accommodate 38 users at a time.

Let me be the first to say that the idea that 38 out of 70 workers can use this database at a time is EFFING BRILLIANT. This fact PLEASES ME, and doesn't at all make me want to SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FACE.

Ahem. Excuse me.

On the plus side, the company has decided to start stocking the fridge with cranberry juice again, so, uhm, I guess at least my kidney health will be first rate when the rest of my body goes into total meltdown mode.