Wednesday, October 14, 2009

If I Had Class, I Could Have Been a Contender, Instead of a Bum, Which I Am

In one of my classes, we discussed different ways of incorporating figurative language into our writing about the theatre. This gave me an idea, which I will attempt here. I have decided to use similes that are too specific to be useful. As in:

"Today was as cold as October 14, 2009. My wife's eyes were as blue as Paula's eyes ever are. I, like a graduate student, carefully studied them, and I believed them to be as beautiful as the most beautiful eyes my wife ever had."

I discussed this idea with a friend tonight, who said if I could come up with three critics who agree with this usage (especially if I could sell it as a means of writing that is immediately useful, and then with each passing second becomes less useful) I could start a whole new field of literary criticism.

One can only dream.

P.S.: I, like Christie, will aim to get back to funny poop stories soon, although, to be fair, a poop story from me is not as funny. I guess I have been harrowed by it ever since a poop shot my father in cold blood.

1 comment:

Christie said...

Well, you've done it again! You made me laugh. And while I agree with you that our poop stories are fundamentally different, I would never go so far as to say yours aren't as funny. (Although maybe they will seem less so now that I know that one such is responsible for killing your father. Wow.)