Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Analyst Catalyst: A Great Fisherman, or the Greatest Fisherman?

I had the excellent opportunity to go fishing last night, and I came away with either three or four fish depending on whom you speak with. If you count a fish biting on the line of a pole that I was holding while someone else was baiting my hook, then I had four. If you don't, then I had three. If you're still having problems with the math, you should consider consulting my other blog:

One of the most peculiar phenomena that I have experienced out here in Minnesota, and one that I was particularly aware of last night, is that the sun doesn't go down at a reasonable time. For instance, in San Diego, it usually gets dark around six or seven o'clock, depending on daylight savings time. However, in Minnesota, it doesn't get dark until ten at night!

What? Who decided that that was a good idea? Although, in thinking about it right now, it makes this just about a perfect vacation spot in that the mosquitoes tend to attack at dusk, and so the longer days give all of us more mosquito free time.

Of course, I could have just stayed in Southern California and not had to worry about any mosquitoes at all, but that's a different story... :-)

But back to fishing, for the first three hours or so, there was nary a bite. However, just as the sun was about to go down, everybody on the boat seemed to be able to catch fish after fish, and by that I mean, of course, that I was able to catch fish after fish, which is what prompts the question at the title of this post.

I guess only history will tell who the greatest is, but I will tell you this: the fishes were delicious.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Minnesota: The Land of 10,000 Mosquitoes, er, Lakes

All right, so I have been in the great state of Minnesota since Saturday, and I have only seen 32 of the 10,000 lakes, and that includes some "lakes" that are very questionable ("lakes" that are primarily five foot by five foot and I think more used for rain runoff than fishing). I have, however, been bitten at least 10,000 times by the villainous blood suckers.

Yesterday, I found one on my leg that apparently had been there for a little while, and so by the time that I had opportunity to smash it, well, I quite literally had a Rorschach test on my hands.

It made me think of anger and revenge, if you are wondering.

I'll give more information as it presents itself. The trip has been a good time so far, other than the bugs. I have been reminded of a childhood interest in tennis, which, by the way, I am awesome at.

Friday, May 26, 2006


I've just got a couple of things to say today, and the first of which is that I don't know how regularly I'm going to be able to post next week as I will be going on vacation to the great state of Minnesota. I'll be staying at some kind of resort with the gf's family; it should be good times.

Secondly, does anybody else here use myspace? Can anybody tell me why there are a plethora (si, a plethora el guapo) of ads with women wearing not very many clothes? Is myspace just a front for huge porn corporation? I am speaking of the dating ***coughcoughescortcough*** service that myspace seems to be promoting pretty heavily. I find myself loggin in and hoping that I don't get fired for looking at porn at work.

And, thirdly, some pictures of fizzball in all of its glory. Be advised that it is less of a sport and more of an act of aggression against cheap soda.

I first present: Joshua "Tater Tots" McGillicutty* in an act of swinging glory.

Ladies and gentlemen, you can't tell by the picture, but Josh had been wearing a cape of sorts up until this point. The rest of us opted to cover ourselves with plastic bags, but Josh, an apparent superhero, went with the cape look. So, if you're ever in distess, just start singing, "I Need a Hero," and Josh will come a-running.

The next contender is Austin "The Great Steak" O' Malley*

Wow! Look at that Soda Fly! It was as if he were the Magna Carta and the can was the king's expectation of his own rights and ruling priviledges...or something.

Thirdly, we've got Iain "The Professor" Atog*.

Look at that steadfast determination on his part. No can can stand up to this man, I'm telling you this!

As Blogger will not let me upload any more pictures right now, eveyone will just have to wait for the rest of the pictures, including yours truly smashing cans to bits.

Have a great Memorial Day!

*Names changed to protect the innocent. Also for comedic effect. Austin O' Malley? Now that's comedy.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

My Lunch Date with the CEO

So, it turns out that my lunch date with the CEO was largely uneventful, although it was largely delicous. The main foods at the meal were two different types of crustaceans and lamb.

It was held on the top floor of my building in what is apparently the executive dining room, which was tastefully decorated with primarily Asian style artwork (two large pots as well as a huge 2-d wood carving of an Asian village), although there was also a nineteenth century painting of a couple of people by a lake. This didn't necessarily go with the rest of the decor, but I wasn't going to say anything. I mean, there were free crustaceans!

He himself was very personable, and he said that at the beginning of his career that it was his wife that pushed him to go with the company that became our current company. He also spent a lot of time talking about the product that I work with, and so I learned a lot of useful information.

As far as what question I asked, it turns out that they ran out of time before I had to ask one. However, I sent an email around to some friends asking what I should ask, and what follows are some of my favorite responses.

1) What do you think of the assessment that our company has been called the SUV of our type of company?
2) What do you think of Paris Hilton?
3) Do you have pools full of gold coins that you swim in up here, like Scrooge McDuck?
4) If you had to choose between living in a shack for a year or having everyone in the world thinking that you like to eat poo, which would you choose?
5) Do you get brought to work by angels?
5a) If so, would you say that you have been, "Touched by an Angel?" HAHHAHAHAH! Get it?

And that's about it. It was a good time, and it was actually a time that kind of made me start caring a little bit more about the company. This is good, because it will keep me coming to work for at least a couple of days... :-)

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

The CEO and I

Today I, and every other new hire in the first quarter, get to go up to the top floor of our building and have lunch with our CEO. We were going to get to go have lunch with our COO, but he backed out a couple days ago because he had other business to tend to.

Business more important than me? I think not.

Anyways, the invitation email said to come with a question for the CEO. Now, I don't feel that I can disclose too much information about where I work, but let's just say that we're a Fortune 200 company.

If you were I, what would you ask your CEO? Also, please tell me before lunch time.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

May Birthdays

In this office, it seems like everybody has a birthday in May. We have had four or five cakes or flans brought in the last month.

It is the gf's birthday today, and I brought another cake to work today which I anticipate will be delicious.

Hmm...It would seem that it would be in management's best interest to hire people with birthdays more or less randomly distributed throughout the year. I would think that the joy from a birthday would keep people readily working in the jobs that they dislike. With such a high from all of the birthdays at such a close proximity in May, it seems like we will all come crashing down come June.

We'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Monday, May 22, 2006

This Last Weekend

I had the good fortune this last weekend to go home and see a large group of friends who had not been all together in at least two years.

On the drive back, I got to meet with some other friends, two of which are getting married next weekend.

Today, I am relaxed just by having been able to spend some time with those people who, to various degrees, have affected my development into the person that I am, and, most likely, the person I am yet to be.

Also, we got to play Fizzball, which I will chronicle in a subsequent post when I have pictures ready.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Back to the Nonsense

Luckily it seems that we have solved all problems with homeland security and other national problems, and now we can have the FBI devote their time to searching for Jimmy Hoffa's remains.

How fortunate we are!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Top Five Movies from High School: #1--Fight Club

Synopsis: A losery man and his very cool friend start an exclusive club ("The first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club. The second rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club."). The club grows into something of a terrorist organization determined not to kill or hurt people, but to free them from the shackles of modern living. Also, they make soap.

Why I Liked This Movie: The acting is superb. The music is fun. There is a huge twist towards the end that will make you watch it even more closely when you watch it again. And again. And again.

Also, as you may have discerned from the title, there is fighting. When you're a high school foot ball player, odds are that you like competition, and one on one fighting is kind of the ultimate sort of competition. In addition, a movie where one on one fighting serves as a means of working through post-modern hubris, well, that's film I can get behind.

I must take this opportunity to point out that although I love this movie, I cannot stand Ultimate Fighting Championship. I saw a clip of that one time where this guy, apparently, dislocated his neck, which meant that the top of his head pointed towards his feet. Yuck.

Why I Didn't Like It: At first, I thought that I wouldn't like it because it starred Brad Pitt, who I, at the time, thought was just another pretty face. However, largely through his excellent performance here, he has grown into being one of my favorite actors.

Why It's on the List: For better or for worse, this movie has probably influenced my thinking more than any other film. This movie was my first glimpse into existentialism, which, in a nutshell, is the realization that much of what goes on in the world is a subjective matter rather than and objective one. The plot twist in this movie seeks to convey (in my mind, at least :) ) that even what we see with our own eyes and feel with our hands can be the most subjective experience of all.

Another thing that this movie presents is the view that we are flawed. Now while Christians call this sin, the conclusion that the movie makes is not to run to a religion, but instead to themselves, from whence all meaning is derived anyway.

These are some of the reasons that this movie is my favorite. Because of the plausibility of the worldviews it presents, I am challenged and encouraged to think about what I believe and why I believe it every time I watch it, and any movie that can cause a person to evaluate everything that they have ever believed about right and wrong and good and evil is a work of art, in my opinion.

As a side note, this movie was released in 1999. Because of everything that goes on in this movie, I seriously doubt that it could even have been made, let alone released, after September 11, 2001. And I further think that had it been released after that, I probably wouldn't have liked it nearly as much.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Top Five Movies from High School: #2--That Thing You Do

Synopsis: A little band from Erie, PA wrties a hugely popular song. This catapults them to being local and, eventually, national celebrities. This movie chronicles their rise and fall.

Why I Liked This Movie: In a smart move on Tom Hanks' part, he plays the song "That Thing You Do" over and over again in this movie. This song epitomizes early sixties rock: it's just fun. It's hard for a person to watch this movie and to not like the song by the end.

In addition, this movie provides scores of quotable lines that make even the most jaded among us crack a smile if we haven't heard them in a while. For example, when asking about when the band would receive copies of their records, and they are answered with the quoting of a Bible verse from Luke, Lenny (the lead guitarist) says, "Luke? Who's Luke? When do we get the records?" That line gets me every time. Also, upon being given a bonus and being asked if he understands what the extra bills on the counter are, Lenny replies, "Presidential flash cards?"

In addition, there is Liv Tyler who is not dressed like an Elf or smoking; this is every high school boy's fantasy.

Further, the drummer, Guy Patterson, ends up with Liv Tyler, which is just the sort of happy ending that you dream of.

Why I Didn't Like It: There's not too much to dislike with this movie. IMDB provides various continuity gaps, but none of that bugs me too much.

Why It's On the List: I, like so many others in high school, have played in a couple of rock bands. I played the bass which means two things: 1) I am the coolest thing since sliced bread, and 2) since everyone else plays guitar, there is quite a demand in high school rock bands for competent bass players.

As I played in bands, had the first three quarters of this movie occurred for any of the bands I was in, I would have been excited beyond the capacity of words to explain. As it was, though, none of the projects got too much further than the garage, although I was fortunate enough to make a couple of cds. Perhaps I will set up links to let the internet world know what we sounded like some point in the future, but as it stands now, I've got to start thinking about what I'm going to write for the number one movie.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Top Five Movies from High School: #3--Night of the Bloody Apes

Synopsis: A doctor's son is horribly ill, and the only thing that can save him is a heart transplant. Oddly enough, there aren't too many people willing to give up their hearts to a mad doctor who operates in his basement. So, the doctor decides to have his people break into a zoo, kidnap an orangutan (not an ape, many apes, or many blood covered apes, mind you: an orangutan), and take the heart from this poor creature to give to his son. Unfortunately, the orangutan's heart works in the boy, but it turns him into a horrible creature that kind of resembles an ape if you squint. Needless to say, mindless carnage ensues. Also, there is a largely unrelated Mexican wrestling sub-plot.

Why I Liked this Movie: Everything about this movie is horrible. There is not one, genuinely redeeming quality in the whole film other than the good time that you can have making fun of it.

Why I didn't Like It: See above.

Why It's on the List: Now I know what you're saying: This movie was made (depending on whom you speak with) either in 1968 or 1972, and as we all know, 1968 or 1972 is not within my high school career. However, a big part of my high school experience was getting together with friends and watching poorly made horror movies and making fun of them, and this was probably my very favorite one to watch because it was so terrible.

The only other movies that can even begin to compare with this movie in terms of sheer awfulness (at least that I've seen) are Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Psychos in Love, and that great horror picture, Slugs. And yes, that last one is about exactly what you think it is.

Watching this movie and movies like it are some of my best memories from high school, and that's why it's on the list.

EDIT: I apologize; when I wrote that Night of the Bloody Apes was number three, I meant that Pride and Prejudice (1995) was number three. My apologies to any people who were confused.

Monday, May 15, 2006

The List Will Continue Tomorrow

Saturday was a very dangerous day to be AC.

One of the very first things that happened to me Saturday morning was my kidnapping. I opened my eyes from my troubled sleep to see two men standing over me. I then have my head covered with a bag and my hands and legs bound with plastic ties. I did struggle a bit, but, oddly enough, it's difficult to breathe with your head inside of a bag. Fortunately for me, though, I am too heavy to be carried, and so my legs had to be unbound so that I could be taken to a van.

Next came about twenty minutes of sliding around the back of said van as well as my realization that my left hand was becoming progressively number. Eventually, we came to a stop, and my hands were unbound, and I was left to sit in the back of the van and think about what I had done. I figured it was a post-modern time out.

Then I was led out of the van, and the bag was yanked off of my head to reveal the blinding light of the sun, and eventually, a friend of mine who currently resides up in Santa Barbara with a video camera saying, effectively, "You've been punk'd!"

I should say at this point, though, that I had a fair idea that some kind of kidnapping was going to go on. Throughout the previous day, the gf kept leaving little clues like, "You'd better get to sleep; it might be an early morning," as well as pointing to vans without windows in the back and saying, "Hmm...kidnapper vans." She did this because she was worried about physical harm to my captors as I told her a couple of months ago that something that would never be funny for me would be to have someone dress up like a zombie and wake me up in the middle of the night. This is largely due to the fact that I am terribly frightened of zombies, and I told her that in the event of the afore mentioned event happening, I would likely beat that someone to death in a dazed and fear-struck state.

Needless to say, with one very large man and one very strong man attacking me in my bed, there wasn't a whole lot I could do to inflict pain upon them.

What followed the release from being kidnapped was a series of clues that led me to various places around San Diego. The first place I went to was the beach to take a shower as there was very little time for such things on that particular morning.

There was a nice shower curtain erected with little rubber duckies in the design. This made me smile while shivering from the super-warm showering amenities that they have at the beach.

As the day went on, I received various presents and surprises, some of which I suspected, others of which I didn't. I thought that the day concluded with a nice dinner at a restaurant, but I was incorrect as when I walked into the gf's apartment afterwards, there was a huge group of people lying in wait to surprise me with a party.

And surprised me they did.

Thanks sweetie and everyone else for putting together just an amazing day for me.

Now, I will also be taking votes on what to do for the gf next year for her birthday. My top choice right now includes a large box, a bucket of fried chicken, and a one way ticket to Azerbaijan. Any thoughts?

Friday, May 12, 2006

Interruption of List: Random Lunch Hour Happenings

I walked over to the bank to make a deposit, and on my way out of the bank, there was a man who was about seventy-five year old caucasian male who was about to walk in. So, as is my habit, I held the door for him, and as he approached, he said,

"It's all right, G, I've got it."

To this, I wanted to reply, "Ain't no big thang, P-Money, I gots ya' back." However, I could only assume that this reply would not be received in the spirit in which it was meant, and so I just walked on.

As I was walking, I passed by an eye glass store, and I glanced at the advertisements in the window, and on one of them, there was a woman wearing glasses who had an un-buttoned business coat on with only a bra underneath. Now, since underwear and glasses go together like peanut butter and jelly or Forrest Gump and Jenny, this made me think that the advertisers had assumed that my reaction would be like this:

When in actuality, it was more like:

Be sure to tune in on Monday for part three of the list. I maybe would have posted over the weekend, but I think the gf has something in store for my birthday, which is apparently to be celebrated tomorrow, but is not actually until Monday.

I'm a little concerned about it, to be honest. She keeps asking me these weird questions like, "If you could do anything over the weekend, what would you do?" and "Just how much heroin do you think that you could take before you overdosed?" I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Top Five Movies from High School: #4--Can't Hardly Wait

Synopsis: Preston (Ethan Embry) is something of a modern day mystic; he associates everything in his life with supernatural causes. For example, he has been in love with Amanda (Jennifer Love Hewitt) ever since the first day that he saw her at school, and this is largely due to the fact that she was enjoying the very same breakfast pastry that he was. Unfortunately for Preston, the school's quarterback talked to her before Preston had the chance to, and Amanda has been going out with the quarterback all four years of high school, and right up until the day that the movie takes place in. Preston, who is going off to some pre-college classes the very next day(because he's a moron) , only has that night to profess his love for her, which just so happens to be the night of the graduation party. How will he express his feelings for her, you ask? The answer is simple: he will give her a letter that he has written and rewritten many times over since his freshman year that explains his feelings for her. Now add to this story a story about a boy named Kenny (Seth Green) who believes himself to be a gangsta' (and who also, inexplicably, got into UCLA), and who is trying to hook up at this party with a story about a group of nerds who are trying to get back the the quarterback who made their high school careers miserable, and you've got yourself comedic gold.

Why I Liked this Movie: There is a point in the movie where Amanda finds Preston's letter, and she walks around trying to find Preston because she is obviously moved by his expressions of appreciation for her. In the course of her wandering, she speaks with two guys who are either idiots or else they are expanding their minds through the use of illegal substances, and she queries them about what Preston looks like. They respond that he has hair and that he wears shirts sometimes. That part sticks out in my mind because it is just hilarious to me that that is the best explanation that two people working in conjunction could come up with for what Preston looks like. The rest of the movie is filled with random humor like that that just makes me want to petition the Motion Picture Academy to reconsider its choice for best movie in 1998 (who even likes Shakespeare in Love? People with two X chromosomes, that's who!).

It should also be noted that Seth Green on the commentary track on the dvd does the first half of his commenting with a British accent, which forces all people watching the commentary to say to themselves, "Wuh? I didn't know he was British? Is 'I didn't know he was British?' even a real question?" However, all three people who listened to the commentary find out the truth halfway through the movie when one of the other people commenting on the movie asks him if he's going to keep up the accent the whole way, and he replies that he won't, and drops back into his normal speaking voice.

Another reason I like it is because of my blind devotion to Ethan Embry due to his appearance in another movie that will be ranked higher than this one on this list.

Also, this movie has one of the nerdy guys mentioned above doing a spectacular job of singing "Paradise City" by Guns & Roses. This sequence is the aural equivalent of watching the video of that star wars kid that is floating around the internet. It is hilarious and strangely riveting.

Why I Didn't Like It: Amanda was played by Jennifer Love Hewitt, and she did a fine job. However, by definition, Jennifer Love Hewitt is neither Katie Holmes or Liv Tyler, both of whom I had big crushes on in high school.

Why It's on the List: One day in high school, a friend of mine (who writes The Martyrdom of Saint Me) couldn't believe that I had not seen this movie, and he insisted on coming over and watching it that very day. Nowadays, although I don't get to talk to him as much as I would like to, I consider him one of my very good friends. Now while we probably would have been friends without watching this movie together, I am unable to think of this movie without reminding myself of how lucky I am to have Saint Me as a friend.

Now I realize that the above section is less about why the movie is on the list and more about why this movie reminds me of my friend, but it's my blog, and I'll let the logic lapse around here when I please. :)

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Top Five Movies from High School: #5--Varsity Blues

Synopsis: In Texas, high school football is everything, unless you (James Van Der Beek) are the second string quarterback with dreams of a different life as well as a cynical outlook on the life you currently live. It doesn't help that you possess some natural skills for football, and that because of that, your father is always pushing you to do more with football. You are looking forward to a different existence in college. Unfortunately for you, the starting quarterback suffers a season ending injury, and so you have to step up and take over leadership for the team.

Although unhappy at first, you notice that there are certain perks to being the local football star, such as certain former starting quarterback's girlfriends suddenly being very attracted to you. Also, you start to not have to pay for hamburgers. However, the downright cruelty of the coaches, particularly the head coach (Jon Voight) reminds you that there is more to life than football. At half time of the big game, you and your teammates stand up to the coach, and the original QB takes over coaching for the second half. Everyone learns a lesson about respecting ourselves and others.

Why I liked this movie: Because I played football myself in high school, MTV Films had my attention just as easy as a hot dog fits in a bun. I love football movies. I also may as well admit that certain of the licentious aspects of the movie made me wish that I myself were a football star. I would say that it made me want to be a better person, but that's not true: I just wanted to be licentious.

Why I didn't Like It: First, Dawson was there, but where was Joey? I had a big crush on Katie Holmes in high school, and if she would have been in this movie, this may have been number one on this list. It also doesn't rank higher because my senior year in high school, we had a decent football team, but we had a terrific running back. He was as fast as the realization of a word misspoken. To give you an idea of how good he was, in our first game, he scored seven touchdowns, which even beats Al Bundy's assertion that he scored four touchdowns in one game. So, the point that I'm trying to get at is that our guy was better than a gross and possibly lying fictional character. Unfortunately for our football team, that running back saw this film, and it made such an impression on him that he started thinking the same things about our coaches that the players in the movie thought about their coaches (namely that they were trying to gain glory for themselves through us). In short, he quit the team, and, due to emotions and confusion about our loss, we couldn't ever get our act together for the rest of the season. Apparently this happened to a lot of teams that year as our coach said that he was reading about how many football teams were being afflicted by the so-called "Varsity Blues" syndrome.

Why It's On the List: It doesn't happen all the time, but about once a month or so, I day dream about playing football again. This is primarily because I wish that I were still some kind of athlete. In these day dreams, I remember my senior year in particular because I am reminded that that was the year that a team that I was an integral part of a team that could have gone all the way to win the state championship, but because of forces outside of my control, in my mind largely due to this movie, the team and I were unable to reach that goal. This movie reminds me of the futility that we all sometimes feel in this life, and it reminds me in particular about how I am not big enough to solve every problem.

With number five of the list done, ladies and gentlemen, please feel free to leave your guesses for what tomorrow's movie will be at the email address provided below. I believe that this list will be only from the years 1996-2000 (aka my high school career), but don't hold me to that as I may be lying. Also, I once scored fifteen touchdowns in one game.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Things You Didn't Ever Want to Know About Me

After months and months of not being able to take care of a customer of mine, I was finally able to service them (which sounds really bad, I know). This made me very happy. Let's just say that it made me so happy that when the spreadsheet equalled out to the penny (and it was in the neighborhood of a fifth of a million), I alternately wanted to cry and defecate in my pants, which I figure has got to be the very opposite of angst.

Now, about the top five list. I will not announce the topic yet as I am a spiteful person like that. However, what I will announce is that there will be a contest to go along with the list, and the winner will receive some free schwag that is oriented towards this website, or else they can take me out to dinner because not everybody is a nerd like me and enjoys getting obscure gifts, but everybody enjoys my company.

With that in mind, these are your rules.

1) For each day that the contest goes on, you can guess what the next item is that I will be selecting for the list. Guesses should be sent to analystcatalyst at

2) The person with the most correct guesses, wins!

3) Much like the Highlander, there can only be one winner.

That is all. You may now resume with your regularly scheduled programming.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

This Just In

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Be prepared in the coming days for a top 5 list.

What will it be about? Are there monetary ramifications for you or your family? Will you even care?

You'll have to tune in to see.


This Is the Part Where I Jump on the Bandwagon

As you may or may not know, Barry Bonds of the San Francisco Giants has hit a whole bunch of home runs. A lot of people think that he hit so many because he was on steroids for at least part of his career, although nothing has been proven yet. These home runs are a big deal right now because he is so close to reaching Babe Ruth's landmark achievement of 714 home runs, which is not the record (755 by Hank Aaron), but it's a whole lot.

Now, people are not excited about him overtaking any kind of record because Barry is not what you would call a likable guy, and by that I mean that the only people who seem to like are the San Francisco fans, and they only like him because of the vital role he plays for their offense. This was only proven the other day when he refused to sign the ball that he hit for his 713th home run for an enlisted serviceman. The article states that Bonds later took a picture with the man, but he still refused to sign the ball.

Why would you do this? It seems to me that if I were disliked as much as he is, I would make it a point to do things to better my image in the public eye, especially if that were as easy as signing a baseball.

This is why people are torn about him. We as a nation love to see people achieve extraordinary things because it makes us dream that we too can someday do something incredible. Unfortunately, by getting there through use of an illegal substance and just by being an all-around jerk, it's making it really hard for most baseball fans to appreciate his great talents and skills.

Bonds could draw comparisons to Muhammed Ali, who is regarded as an iconic figure in the world of sports, in that both believe that they are/were the greatest. However, whether people loved or hated Ali, they could always respect him, which is something that Barry Bonds will never have going for him again.

Monday, May 08, 2006


I figured that there would be a little "soft shoe" style dancing going on in the role of Snoopy, but I apparently have a thirty-two bar dance break. For anyone who doesn't know much about music, the above references how many establishments of ill repute the audience will want to visit after seeing me dance.

When I first realized this, my reaction was very similar to what is pictured below.

Let's just hope that this will not affect attendance...

Law and Order

Why does Law and Order feel like I want to watch it for an hour, only to be left without a specific and clear cut ending?

If I wanted to be mentally enriched, I would go see a Mamet play, watch an Audray Tautou movie, or read Ulysses.

YOU ARE A TELEVISION SHOW! GET OVER YOURSELF! I am supposed to leave you just as empty-headed as I came to you.

*Smacks Law and Order on the nose with a rolled up newspaper* Bad tv show! Bad!

Friday, May 05, 2006


I know it makes me weird. It makes me weird, and I am powerless to change. Are you ready for what I am about to reveal?

I absolutely hate the "time's up" beeping of a microwave. I will go out of my way in order to push the button to open the door with one second left on the timer. Why is this? I really don't know. This is a part of myself that at once fascinates and repulses me.

It should also be noted that I am not a big fan of cell phone rings, either. My phone is just about always on silent unless I know for a fact that I will be receiving an important phone call in the near future.

Perhaps life as a music major has sensitized my ears to noise? Or, my propensity towards music has sensitized my ears towards cacophony in general? I suspect that it is the second option because even as a child, I would rush towards the microwave as it counted down those last few seconds.

That's about it for today. I imagine everybody has mundane things that bother them as well. What are some of yours?


My boss just taught me something vitally vital to doing my job.

It's euphoric being able to do what you're supposed to.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

A Protest I Could Get Behind

Apparently, a man was fired for smirking after his boss said that he had just been granted new legal powers to have a greater control over firing employees. Another employee was fired for trying to defend the first, and a third employee was fired for missing the meeting due to an illness.

And three hundred of their co-workers walked off of the job to protest, and all three of them were re-hired.

Good for them.

Also, right after Washington says that they were going to investigate just how much of a shortage there is in the supply of oil, the oil companies find some reserves that they had forgotten about. Due to increased supply, oil drops nearly two dollars a barrel.

Now, I'm not gonna judge. In fact, if I had a commodity that could be worth more just by my saying that I didn't have any more of it to give, I may have a hard time not saying that. However, when you are threatened by the government, and you immediately find reserves that you didn't have before, it's pretty obvious that you're a big fat liar.

I'm just saying, if you're going to lie, you've got to cover your tracks a little better than that.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

With Monday in Mind

My friend Saint Me made an interesting post about Monday's boycott of work by immigrants. He said that if they really wanted to make a statement about how much our economy would miss them, they should walk out for more than one day.

I think he's right. In watching the news over the last couple of days, all of the employers have been very supportive (especially McDonalds) of their workers' right to protest. I wonder, however, how many of these businesses would have been as supportive had the walk out gone on for two or three days, or even a week. I have to believe that there would have been some unhappy rich folk on the news, and probably a fair amount of firings as well as attempts to hire new workers.

This leads me to believe that the reason that the owners could take the camera opportunity to say that they supported their workers is because they knew that their companies would be able to get by just fine with only a partial single day's earnings.

It would also seem to make sense that the reason that the walk out could not go on longer is because the workers could probably not afford to lose more than a day's wages, especially with there likely not being a very good union for illegal immigrants. That last bit may seem harsh, but I know that I would have a hard time going without a day's pay.

So, if you'll spare me a possible jump in logic, perhaps Monday's walk out proved just the opposite of what it was intended to prove. Perhaps the U.S. macroeconomy would get along just fine without illegal labor, but the alien's microeconomy just couldn't.

But what do y'all think, my four or five steady readers? Or is my reasoning too specious, and unworthy of consideration? :)

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

A Student

In addition to working my normal nine to five job, I meet, once every two weeks, with a voice student. This person has made great improvements since when I first started teaching her, and it gives me great joy and personal satisfaction to be able to do anything at all with my degree.

But most of all, it reminds me that I can do what I love and make money at it if only I give it a shot.

As each day at the office goes by with the stresses that accompany it, I know that there is a better way. I'm not quite ready to take that leap of faith just yet, but it is comforting to know that it is there.

Monday, May 01, 2006

This Will Sound Terrible, but

I wonder how many people's commute to work this morning was much less stressful due to fewer people commuting to work? I am all for non-violent protesting, and, in general, a vested interest in what goes on in this country politically, but it seems to me that this walk-out today may have a different effect than they protestors were going for. In fact, according to a poll at Yahoo!, something like fifty-seven percent of Americans think that the protest today will harm the immigrants' cause more than help it.

I will be interested in the coming days and weeks to see the ramifications of today's events.

I am not entirely well-educated on the subject enough to come to a formal conclusion on the matter just yet, but it seems to me that the people who are doing, arguably, some of the worst and dirtiest jobs that a person can have in this country, deserve, at least, a hearty helping of understanding and compassion, if not the minimum wage that any legal citizen would make for doing the same jobs.

On the topic of jobs, it can be argued that illegal aliens are taking all of this country's jobs, and, to an extent, this may be true in that there are an estimated eleven and a half to twelve million illegal aliens in this country. However, I have to assume that these people are the ones who are working as our janitors, field workers, and other low paying jobs. It's not like they're coming here and taking CEO and excutive jobs; they're probably not even taking other "good" jobs. If we want to point fingers about taking away jobs that Americans could do, we should point to the companies who make me talk to someone in India when I have a problem with my cell phone.

I'm just saying that the crux of the issue (the House of Reps passing a bill that would make being an illegal alien into a felony) seems a bit harsh for the people who are working to serve most of us every day.

That being said, obviously something's not right with immigration in the U.S., and tougher legislation may be part of the solution, but I don't think that it's the only solution. I think that we forget in our hubris that if the situation were reversed, that is, if Mexico had a terrifically booming economy and America were a poor nation, that many of us would probably do whatever it took to get to Mexico and secure better lives for ourselves and our families. It is at this point that I must make note of the most obvious point in the whole argument: that all of our families immigrated here at some time in the past. At the end of the day, we are all people, and that is something that we all need to remember when we are deciding how to treat a group of people less fortunate than we are.

As a footnote for those of my readers who are Christians, we also need to remember that throughout the Old Testament believers were told time and time again to protect and take care of three very specific groups of people: the widows, the orphans, and the aliens. Dispensations and other theological arguments aside, how are we achieving this by pushing them away?