With all of the political ads on the television of late, it's getting more and more difficult to forget that there's an election tomorrow. Nevertheless, these ads got me thinking: if I were running for office, what would I need to do to get elected (other than "silencing" the scores of arms dealers I have illegally dealt with in my brief tenure as gunrunner* for various juntas down South America way)?
These are my ideas for how I would run my campaign:
1) My slogan (and platform) would be: "Vote for AC -- He'd Vote for You!"
2) I would purchase ads on bus stop benches that just had my smiling face. I might also include a website address, but that site would have little to do with the campaign (such as iamawesome.com).
3) I would change my last name to something difficult to spell, and then run as a write-in candidate in Alaska.**
4) I would move to Alaska.
5) I would win. Boom.
*Oddly enough, this is also an elected office.
**I wrote myself in as my vote for President in 2004. True story. I did not win.
10 hours ago