An Open Letter to the IT Guy Who Fawns Over the Attractive Girl in the Next Cubicle

Dear Sir,

As you are middle-aged and kind of weird, and she is early twenties and devoted to fitness, I place your chances of what I can only imagine you are thinking of doing with her somewhere between the likelihood of the events of Jurassic Park actually transpiring and the idea that the 1969 moon landing was staged.

I just thought that you should know.

With love,
AC