Thursday, April 30, 2009


Over the past few days, I have learned some very important life lessons that I would like to share with you in list form.

1) When The Running Store says that you can return your shoes for any reason within sixty days of purchase, they mean that you can return your shoes for any reason within sixty days of purchase for another pair of running shoes, but under no circumstance will used shoes receive a cash refund.

2) Some, but not all, Ebay stores offer cash refunds. The store that I purchased my second pair of running shoes from does not, but you are able to return them in a trade for a different pair of shoes they sell. Their selection is very limited, and I am left, having saved no money and having managed to spend nearly twice as much as initially was anticipated, with two very similar pairs of running shoes.

Running shoe stores: 2. A.C.: 0.

3) No matter how funny you may think it is, when you have a minor disagreement with your beautiful wife, she will almost never* think that it's funny for you to jokingly assert "Looks like the honeymoon's over." Further, no matter how many times you repeat the joke in different situations thinking that maybe she just didn't get it the times before, this will surprisingly only make matters worse.

*I.e., absolutely never.


Buttercup said...

Odd how one man's word for "return" is the equivalent of another man's definition for "exchange." As Dina's mom would say, "False advertising!"

As far as the honeymoon comment goes..oh nooooooo! At least Paula is a forgiving person:) :) :)

Christie said...

1. That is not the same thing, and they should have been clear about that up front! Those JERKS!

2. Also, JERKS! Do they think that everyone who buys something off of eBay is happy with it??

3. Okay, I really did have to laugh at this one because I think we have had that same fight in a very similar way! Yes, we girls want to believe that we are cool enough to never have a honeymoon-is-over phase because the whole marriage with us will be like a honeymoon. (And really, isn't it? ISN'T IT?!) (Sometime, if you want to laugh, ask Pete if our honeymoon ever cooled off...'cause you KNOW he'll tell you the truth!

Tell Paula I send her a special hug.

Mr. 231 =) said...

3) *eyes buggin' out*...DUDE! You are insane!

Mama V said...

1) & 2) Oh no, they DIDn't!

3) Oh Noooooo, YOU didn't!!!! :)

(I laughed... but not without a slight twinge of uncomfortableness in my belly when I read what you did!) I'm sure you will use it as an illustration one day when you become a world-renowned public speaker to young men on things you shouldn't say to your new bride). :)

Red Riding Hood said...

3) "the box says shut-up Steve" Have you seen that commercial? very similar to your situation. So often the things I say in my head are so much funnier to me then they end up being to others in realy life...ah well, I think I'm funny.

Analyst Catalyst said...

I am glad to see that everyone thought that #3 was pretty inappropriate.

Dan said...

Hey, I'm with you Bryan. #3 was hilarious... but just so you know, if Paula asks me I will deny ever saying it was and then flip on you like I am John Kerry running for president