Ten on Tuesday: K

1: Kielbasa - This is delicious.

2: Kerouac, Jack - I don't really consider myself a prude, but when I tried to read On the Road in high school I found that I couldn't get through it. I had gotten to a point where Kerouac's friend Dean had left his wife and young children without explanation to go on another road trip with Jack, and I was too offended to continue. I don't think I would be quite as offended now, but it was profoundly offensive to me then.

3: King Stahlman Bail Bonds - I think it is a safe assessment to say that everybody in San Diego has heard of King Stahlman. His advertisements run across every form of local media. There is a location of his bail bond store (?) near my office, and painted on the same building, it is referred to both as "King" Stahlman Bail Bonds and King Stahlman Bail Bonds. I take the difference in quotation marks to mean that on certain sides of the building he is an actual king and on certain sides he is only playing a "king."*

4: 311 - A friend of mine in high school claimed that the band 311 got it's name because it was a white supremacist group, as K is the eleventh letter of the alphabet, and so 311 would therefore equal KKK. It seemed pretty unlikely to me, but the rumor was apparently pretty widespread as it has received mention over at snopes.com. However, according to Snopes, the real story behind the name is that 311 is allegedly the police code for indecent exposure, which the band figured out when one member got a ticket for skinny dipping. Take that high school friend!

5: Klondike Pizza - This little pizza restaurant started in a small town ("The Village of Arroyo Grande" as their sign says) near my home town and then started another location in my home town. It is my favorite pizza, bar none. Friday nights for me as a kid were pizza nights, and I did my fair share of begging to be taken here. From the peanut shells on the floor to the numerous posters for the Iditarod to their motto "We cheat the other guy and pass the savings on to you!", this place it good times.

6: KHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

7: Kart, Mario - A supremely frustrating game for the Nintendo 64 as the game would actually cheat (by having computer characters move much more quickly than they are supposed to) if you got too good at the game. This is why I don't have any hair. Thanks a lot Mario.

8: Koopa - While on the subject of Mario, in the original Super Mario Bros. game, at the end of the fourth level in every world, you would try to defeat King Koopa with the expectation that you would rescue the Princess after you defeat him. For the first seven worlds, there would just be a baby waiting for you, and a message would play saying "Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle!" At the end of the eighth world, you have to go through a ridiculous maze that, if you make a wrong turn, just repeats itself over and over again until you die by running out of time. I am not sure how anybody figured that maze out without the internet guiding the way; it was ridiculous for the designers to expect me as a five year old to be happy about getting to the last level only to lose life after life and ultimately have to start the game over. If you manage to get to and beat Koopa, you now have a Princess to fawn over you as well as seven illegitimate children to look after. I'm pretty sure this is why American men then to shy away from relationships.

9: Kilgore Trout - This is Kurt Vonnegut's alter-ego in many of his novels. Both are just so brilliant.

10: Krab - This is how artificial crab is frequently spelled in sushi restaurants. While it tastes virtually identical, one can't help but wonder if there is some pernicious Soviet influence at work with this imitation meat.

*I felt this was more appropriate in a foot note. In verifying how to spell his name, I learned that he passed away earlier this year. I was unaware.