Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Ten on Tuesday: J (With Extra Footnotes to Make Amends for Last Week)

1: Jeremiah - Was a bull frog (also, he was a good friend of mine).

2: Junk - When I was in college, a phrase that gained popularity when you were playfully mad at someone else was, "I'm going to punch you in the junk," or, instead of "punch," you could instead say some other violent action like "I'm going to kick you in the junk," or "I'm going to atom bomb and send smallpox to your junk".***** When somebody said this (and it was, quite frequently, Christie), I liked to add something along the lines of "Yeah! Right in their Chinese ship!" I was greatly amused.

3: Jersey Boys - I saw it with my brother on the Vegas trip with the guys, and I saw it again last week with my lovely wife. It was terrific both times; I highly recommend it.

4: "Jamaica Me Crazy" - At a get-together with some friends in my home town last year, I decided it would be funny to, whenever I saw one friend in particular, say the phrase "Jamaica me crazy!" and then playfully poke and tickle him.* His response was always to run away. I don't know whether he enjoyed it as much as I did, but I do know that the second time I did so, he disappeared from the party for about an hour.

5: James Buchanan - I, on a whim, researched him earlier this year, and I even contemplated getting a mouse pad with his likeness (though I decided it was a bad idea). I'm not sure why I have any friends.

6: Jar Jar Binks - When I was sixteen going on seventeen, I queried my mother by saying, "Mother dear, if you find it prudent, I would sincerely appreciate the opportunity to go see The Phantom Menace with some upstanding members of the community." She, in turn, allowed me to go to the midnight showing of Star Wars: Episode 1 with some friends. I was stoked; after all, that movie was going to be awesome, and I was going to be a part of the cultural force that got to see it first. As you all likely know, to say that that movie was a bit of a disappointment is like saying Tom Brady is only a little bit like Gaston -- it's an incredible understatement. Let me add to that the observation that at two in the morning, Jar Jar Binks gets real old, real fast. "Me-sa want-uh blow my head off!"

7: Jello - Is there really always room for it?

8: Al Jolson - When I was Snoopy in Snoopy!!! a few years back, the director wanted me to sing one of my song's like Al Jolson. So, I listened to some of his music, and I gave it my best shot. The director said something like, "Do you even know who Al Jolson is?" I don't think I ever got it the way he wanted me to get it. Looking back now, I wonder if he wanted me to do it in black-face.**

9: Jimmy Eat World - One of the first jobs I had when I got out of college was teaching voice at a music store.*** In between students, I would talk with one of the other teachers (who also worked as the cashier) about music and bands that we liked. One day, she said, "What makes Jimmy Eat World so good? Why are all of their songs so catchy?" I said, "I was thinking about that, and I really think it's the vocal harmonies."**** She looked at me with a look that looked like looking was the last courtesy she would afford me, and then she changed the subject.

10: Jalopy - This is my weekly old-timey word that I wish people would use more. As in, the cranky curmudgeon hopped in his jalopy and went to the haberdashery.********

*I have done straighter things in my life.*********
**Which is just offensive. I mean, absolutely morbidly obese.
***The store went out of business pretty quickly (in five or six months), which I don't really consider my fault, but I guess I'll never know.
****In my defense, I was listening to a lot of music at the time, trying to find songs for my students in the rock genre which I hadn't had as much formal experience with. I knew that I liked their harmonies. Would I still say that their harmonies are what made their songs catchy? I guess that would depend on how pretentious I was feeling that day.
*****Somewhat surprisingly, this one never really caught on.******
******Yes, I know these are out of order. It's called revising and rewriting.*******
*******(And being too lazy to re-asterisk your footnotes).
********Bam! Full circle!
*********And by "Straighter," I mean, "More heterosexual." In case anyone was wondering.


Mama V said...

Your blogs truly bring joy to my day, Analyst Catalyst. :)

Oh, and the Jar Jar Binks bit? Yeah, um, not only did he help ruin the movie for me, but also combine that treachery with a 10 year old brother who thought he was a hilarious addition to the movie and decided he was going to talk like that for the next year... annoying habit?* Imagine a year of "Mee-sah want to go wissah you," "Okeeday!" "Yousah mean," and a myriad of other Bink-isms.**

...Sigh... THANKfully, he grew out of that. (And he'd probably be slightly embarrassed that I even shared that little nugget, but hey, he knows I love him. :)

And lastly, we ALL know why you have friends...and it's not just the hilarity you bring to all of our lives...but so much more...***

*THAT's like saying Gaston is only sorta ripped.
** Yes, I said "Bink-isms."
*** Meesah like usah ellipses...****
****Annoyed yet? :)*****
*****Am I even using asterisks/footnotes in a correct fashion?

Dan O. said...

Hey, I still say "punch you in the junk." It never went out of style for me.

Then again, I also still say rad, wear neon colors and listen to N'sync... you know, just to stay current.

Analyst Catalyst said...

V: You are absolutely using them correctly (as far as I know). I laughed at your "*** Meesah like usah ellipses...".

Dan: Do you still wear heat sensitive shirts that change color?

Johnny D said...

why you all funny and stuff?