Tuesday, December 05, 2006

I Have a Confession

It's probably not that big of a deal. I mean, there's a huge segment of the population of this country that does it too, and yes, if they all jumped off of a bridge, I guess I'd have to give it some serious thought.

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but here goes: I'm starting to like country music.

I know the panic that you're all feeling right now. You're figuring that I'm going to start devoting this site to discussing the finer points of NASCAR, as well as weighing various conspiracy theories trying to figure out just who shot J.R., but I've got to tell you, it's not like that. This is probably going to make you call me Touchy McFeely, but the reason that I'm growing to like country is that it tells such beautiful stories.

For example, there's a song that's been around for a couple of years that I've just reheard recently that's about a little boy whose mother is lying in a hospital bed dying, and the little boy just wants to buy her a pair of shoes so that his mother can be beautiful "if mama meets Jesus tonight."

Objectively, this song is pretty ridiculous. Wouldn't you think that Jesus would have other things to care about than whether or not a pair of shoes makes a woman pretty?

But the thing is, it connects with me emotively. Shoot, even thinking about those lines right now gets me all teary eyed, and I submit that if you can listen to that song and not tear up, you must either hate your mother or else your heart is cold and black and should be given to naughty children in their stockings at Christmas.

On second thought, who am I kidding? I've got to embrace who I am. If anybody needs me, I'll be sitting in an undershirt watching a special on ESPN2 about what a great guy Jeff Gordon is. Don't even think about bothering me unless you've got a sixer of Milwaukee's Best.

8 comments:

Aaron said...

Perhaps you should try folk music... it tells nice stories too.. and effects your IQ less!!

superaustin said...

There really is a lot of good country music out there, AC. I jumped on the Johnny Cash band wagon after watching Walk the Line and found some stuff I really love. Also really enjoy the Loretta Lynn and Hank Williams (though not Hank Williams, Jr.)

I also confess to very much liking the album "Home," by the Dixie Chicks. There's a song "Travelin' Soldier" that, like your Jesus Shoes song, is probably overly sentimemtal and a little manipulative, but I still love the crap out of it.

There's also an old group, "The Louvin Brothers" who produced my most favorite religious album ever. I may include selections from it on this year's volume of "Merry Christmas, AC."

Also, will you be at the Jeff Staso Christmas extravaganza?

superaustin said...

Also, here:

http://www.amazon.com/Satan-Real-Louvin-Brothers/dp/B000002U45/sr=8-1/qid=1165422893/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-7203829-9075143?ie=UTF8&s=music

:: mandy :: said...

You had to bring up the Christmas Shoes, AC. Here I am, fa la la la la ing to happy Christmas music and then they go and play THAT song, the one that makes people cry. So instead of spreading cheer I'm crying my mascara off. Merry Christmas to you, too.

Julie_Gong said...

I stopped reading this post at "I'm starting to like country." And I'm not going to read any more. I can't believe it. Say it ain't so... say it ain't so.

thany said...

This is what happens when The Man blcoks your si.com!!

Analyst Catalyst said...

Aaron: I do enjoy folk music in general, but I can't take a whole lot of it in one sitting.

Supes: I have always had a secret love for Johnny Cash as my grandparents took me to one of his concerts at the fair one time, and he sang this song called, "A Boy Named Sue," and I thought that anybody, regardless of musical affiliation, who would sing that song couldn't be all bad. I seems that I like the old stuff in particular, because I enjoy both Hank Williams and Patsy Cline.

Mandy: I'm sorry you had to hear that, but it's good to see that other people are crying too. I myself was crying at an episode of "Scrubs" last night, and bemoaning the fact that this was supposed to be a funny show.

Thany: Maybe I should write a country song about the man taking away my si.com. I can't believe that it would be any less popular than "Achy Breaky Heart."

Julie: I figured that I'd lose readers over this issue. I assure you that if you read the rest of the post, it gets a little bit funnier. But only a little.

Anonymous said...

Puss. I hate my mother and I have always given my cold black heart to naughty children for Christmas.

Love, Satan

But seriously, listen to Superaustin, the Louvin Brothers are fantastic.

Saint Me