The Joy of Cooking, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Sauce

Recently, the girlfriend and I decided that it was important to eat at home more frequently in part because it's less expensive and more healthy, and in part because many of you, if you saw me, would have trouble not screaming "OH THE HUMANITY!" as I am approximately the size of the Hindenberg, and also because my apparently being on fire is forever immortalized in a film strip.

With these things in mind, a few evenings ago, we opted to make fajitas, under the assumption that nearly anything we made at home would be better for us than anything that we bought from a fast food establishment. My girlfriend was in charge of the meat, and I was in charge of the potatoes.

Now, I know that you're all thinking that fajitas and potatoes go together like creme brulee and a kick in the crotch, but I really wanted potatoes, and when you spend 2004 - 2005* making under minimum wage, you find that potatoes, and not Abba Zabba, are your only friends. Think about it: big bag o' potatoes on the cheap + doesn't go bad quickly + access to stove and spices = an economic piece of heaven. For ease of eating, I found that cutting potatoes up into little pieces and throwing them into a frying pan with a little olive oil gets the job done quickly and easily, with little clean up.

I'm pretty sure that by now you have realized that my potatoes were delicious, and if you haven't, it's probably because I haven't described them at all. I would post what I put into them, but then everyone would know my one cooking secret, and I understand that these things are supposed to be kept on the down low, and they should be passed from generation to generation in a cycle as beautiful as a waterfall flowing down the side of a mountain or a kidney stone passing from your body. The only comfort for you is that any of you ever come over, I will make up a batch, and you are certainly welcome to eat them, as long as you don't mind them being a little spicy, and I am certain that you will agree that they are, in fact, much better than a kick in the crotch, and, really, that's all that you can ask for in a meal.

* Actual year in your life not important. What is important is that you must think to yourself every day during this time period, "What a clever ruse, telling people that they will receive high paying jobs upon graduation from college! Those colleges must be making millions! If I ever have money, I'd like to invest in the idea of college."