Tuesday, February 17, 2009


In the past two months I have purchased:

1) Running shoes,
2) A watch that measures heart rate and distance,
3) The book "Running for Dummies,"
4) A subscription to Runner's World.

In the past two months, I have gone on substantive runs:

zero times. I have gone on very short runs once or twice, but nothing more than five minutes or so.

Though I am keeping my fingers crossed that my growing head knowledge of running will make me wake up one day with the body of a gazelle*, so far, this has not come to fruition. But, thanks to articles as specific as one on how to tie one's shoes**, I feel that soon I will have the body of a god***.

However, I have decided that tomorrow morning is the time that I begin. I practiced this morning by getting up slightly earlier than I normally would have, and I have earned a smug sense of satisfaction that allows me to look at others and scoff and I think to myself, "Did you get up slightly earlier than normal and consider it practicing for running? I didn't think so."

While I will still be taking a short run, I consider this one up from the very short runs to which I have become accustomed. I'll let you know if anything notable happens****.

* I would like to have the swiftness of a gazelle. I would neither like to wake up a centaur-type creature nor with a headless gazelle's body in my bed as some sort of mafia message.
** Serious.
*** Currently, I'm working with Chinese restaurant Buddha. Long-term, I'd like to lean more towards ascetic Buddha, though I would like to stop well short of being able to see the outline of my spine while looking at my stomach.
**** Honestly, part of my aversion to running is that people passing in cars really like to throw things at me. On at least two of the times I have gone out with friends, people driving by have thrown reasonably full cups of soda. On one instance, I think they threw an apple. Fortunately for me, their aim was poor, but it's a bit disheartening to know that I appear to be a waste receptacle for the discriminating person on the go.


Buttercup said...

What?!?! People threw stuff at you? What ever happened to the camaraderie that exists between runners?
I've been trying to get back into running too & the whole "practicing for running" made me laugh. Most days I've been getting up and just making myself go, cuz I know I'll feel so great afterwards. Sometimes I lay there so long trying to muster up the will to get ready for a run that I end up nodding off again. But if I'm meeting someone, I'm up & ready to go - don't want to make them wait.
Perhaps a shield should be your next running-themed purchase:)

Analyst Catalyst said...

Fraternity of runners notwithstanding, it looks like I was negligent in explaining that the above foodstuffs were thrown from cars. Personally, I'd rather have my soda than throw it at someone, but to each his own.

Buttercup said...

No, you did explain it, I just read it too fast to remember that part - so typical of me:P
I went running this morning & smiled to myself as I thought of this post and realized I did sit there with my shoes on for over 20 minutes thinking about going running before I actually did it.

Thany said...

Where about are you running?
*Fills Extraordinarily Large Diabetic Coma Inducing Gulp*

No, no! The soda is for me to drink whilst I lay on the rooftops with my sniper rifle to take out a couple of drivers.

Analyst Catalyst said...

Buttercup: Congrats on getting up for running! I certaintly feel you about the putting it off, in that I didn't get up this morning as I had planned. I will head over to 24 hour tonight for a while to make up for it (as my neighborhood is a little too spooky to go running in at night, in my opinion).

Thany: I appreciate the militancy! I suppose I should be running up in your neighborhood! In seriousness, I have gone for walks with my puppy along the route I have planned, which starts and my apartment, goes over to the Qualcomm parking lot, and loops back to my place. I am looking forward to it.