Thursday, March 12, 2009

Beneath the Wheel (and by Wheel I Mean Knife)

Rather than detailing the events again, I submit for your reading consideration an email that I wrote that chronicled my experience with the doctor the other day. I have a hard time believing the below would make somebody squeamish, but, in case you are that hard time, please note that the following is about surgery.

Hi All,

My surgery was nowhere near as intense as my brother-in-law's, but here are the basic details.

As you may know, up until a few days ago, I had what a couple of doctors referred to as a sebacious cyst in the center of my chest. It had been there for several years, but it recently began emitting a foul odor so I decided that we needed to get rid of it.

When I checked in, I asked the nurse if my wife could go in with me in case I started bawling. We were told yes, but when I was actually called back to the room, the other nurse wouldn't let her come. It was then that I knew that this was serious stuff, and I had better keep it together! :)

I went in and the first thing the doctor told me was that it was going to leave a big, obvious scar. I'm not sure if he was trying to scare me off, but, as I am not a swimsuit model, I figured that it probably wouldn't be a big deal.

He then injected me with a numbing agent around the site of the cyst (as well as around a couple of small skin tags that I wanted removed). One injection that went right into the cyst sent a spray of the foul smelling stuff across the room; I wasn't sure if I should apologize or not. After waiting a few minutes to let the numbing set in, he grabbed a scalpel and carved right into me. It was peculiar in that though I could feel movement around the site, I obviously didn't feel any pain. While I suppose I could have looked down and watched what he was doing, I kept my eyes pointed towards heaven (you know, so I'd be ready). He removed the cyst rather quickly, and it seemed to take longer for him to sew me up than the surgery itself had taken. Then he took the scalpel and sawed off the little skin tags, after which he cauterized the little wounds.

All in all, it was quick and painless. I asked to see what they had removed after the fact, and it was larger than I thought it would be. Based on what I could feel, I had assumed that it was about the size of a pea, but looking at it outside of me, it was actually the size of four or five peas. The nurse said they frequently see people in there who have similar growths the size of golf balls, and I was thankful that mine was not that big.

The nurse said that they would send it off for testing, and they'll let me know the results when I go back in to get my stitches removed (which will be a new experience for me in itself).

So, that's about it. Nothing too exciting. :)


1 comment:

Christie said...

Dang, Whitey! Cysts spraying across the room, growths the size of golf balls...What kind of blog is this anyway?! I want my subscription fee back. In cash, please.