I mentioned that I needed and purchased deoderant in my last post. I needed deoderant because my last deoderant had an anti-perspirant in it, which was causing my sensitive armpits to rash up. As you may have guessed, when I used "sensitive" in that last sentence, I didn't mean that my armpits liked to sit around, drink read wine, and talk about how much they liked The Notebook. No, I mean sensitive in the way that if they rash up and I decide to move my arms, I could swear that the flesh beneath my arms was being grated off by a cheese grater.
So, I bought new deoderant (sans anti-perspirant), and this morning, I slathered it on my armpits, eager to see if my body would have any kind of reaction to it. In retrospect, it would have been smarter to just use a little bit to test it, but I'm an all or nuthin' type of guy. So far, no rash has appeared.
Unfortunately, the "fresh" scent of the deoderant is driving me crazy. I have never felt so much like puking at the office than I do right now, and I am effectively left with no recourse as there are no showers here (except for a theoretic one that I have heard legends about in the basement), and, even if I could find this mystical shower, I have no towel with which to dry.
With my only other option being left wet and naked, I am only left with the option of throwing up in my cubicle, which I can only imagine will elicit the following conversation:
"Hey AC, are you okay?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just some deoderant problems."
"Hmm. Smells to me like some ODER-ant problems. High five!"
"I'm not going to give you a high five."
At which point, the puking will continue. On the upside, at least this shirt will smell like a fake pine forest for many, many years.
1 hour ago