I need to move to one of the following states: Alaska, Florida, Nevada, South Dakota, Texas, Washington, or Wyoming.
Why is that you ask? I need to move there because these states charge no income tax on the state level. Sure, I will have to continue to pay federal income tax, but, because I live in stupid California, I am apparently paying 9.3% in interest tax like a re re (because members of the mentally handicapped community apparently like to pay high income taxes).
Further, I once heard from some family friends that Alaska even pays its citizens to live there. While it's not a whole bunch (I believe that they said that the state pays about $2,000 per person per year), I would assume that people that substain themselves primarily on whale blubber (as far as I can tell) don't care much about the physical comforts in life.
And while we're on the topic of state stereotypes, here are the things that I would look forward to in each of the other states:
Florida: Humidity, old people, and hurricanes, together at last!
Nevada: Free drinks and gambling! Can life get better? I submit that it cannot!
South Dakota: Had I a sister, I could marry her at Mount Rushmore with minimal condemnation from the other townsfolk.
Texas: I could be President of the United States.
Washington: I could live somewhere that provides me no immediate stereotypes!
Wyoming: I could be faced with the inanity of the chart over here (it's about half way down the page), that claims that 6.05% of the the state's Hispanic residents are white. How can this be? Are they lying ("Sir, I can see that you're white...")?
In summary, sucks to your asthmar, California! Get your hand out of my pocket, because I don't like you that way.
7 hours ago