Monday, May 15, 2006

The List Will Continue Tomorrow

Saturday was a very dangerous day to be AC.

One of the very first things that happened to me Saturday morning was my kidnapping. I opened my eyes from my troubled sleep to see two men standing over me. I then have my head covered with a bag and my hands and legs bound with plastic ties. I did struggle a bit, but, oddly enough, it's difficult to breathe with your head inside of a bag. Fortunately for me, though, I am too heavy to be carried, and so my legs had to be unbound so that I could be taken to a van.

Next came about twenty minutes of sliding around the back of said van as well as my realization that my left hand was becoming progressively number. Eventually, we came to a stop, and my hands were unbound, and I was left to sit in the back of the van and think about what I had done. I figured it was a post-modern time out.

Then I was led out of the van, and the bag was yanked off of my head to reveal the blinding light of the sun, and eventually, a friend of mine who currently resides up in Santa Barbara with a video camera saying, effectively, "You've been punk'd!"

I should say at this point, though, that I had a fair idea that some kind of kidnapping was going to go on. Throughout the previous day, the gf kept leaving little clues like, "You'd better get to sleep; it might be an early morning," as well as pointing to vans without windows in the back and saying, "Hmm...kidnapper vans." She did this because she was worried about physical harm to my captors as I told her a couple of months ago that something that would never be funny for me would be to have someone dress up like a zombie and wake me up in the middle of the night. This is largely due to the fact that I am terribly frightened of zombies, and I told her that in the event of the afore mentioned event happening, I would likely beat that someone to death in a dazed and fear-struck state.

Needless to say, with one very large man and one very strong man attacking me in my bed, there wasn't a whole lot I could do to inflict pain upon them.

What followed the release from being kidnapped was a series of clues that led me to various places around San Diego. The first place I went to was the beach to take a shower as there was very little time for such things on that particular morning.

There was a nice shower curtain erected with little rubber duckies in the design. This made me smile while shivering from the super-warm showering amenities that they have at the beach.

As the day went on, I received various presents and surprises, some of which I suspected, others of which I didn't. I thought that the day concluded with a nice dinner at a restaurant, but I was incorrect as when I walked into the gf's apartment afterwards, there was a huge group of people lying in wait to surprise me with a party.

And surprised me they did.

Thanks sweetie and everyone else for putting together just an amazing day for me.

Now, I will also be taking votes on what to do for the gf next year for her birthday. My top choice right now includes a large box, a bucket of fried chicken, and a one way ticket to Azerbaijan. Any thoughts?

2 comments:

The gf said...

haha... this year was just breaking you in, chump...

Analyst Catalyst said...

Uh-oh! I've been taken to school!