Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Top Five Movies from High School: #3--Night of the Bloody Apes


Synopsis: A doctor's son is horribly ill, and the only thing that can save him is a heart transplant. Oddly enough, there aren't too many people willing to give up their hearts to a mad doctor who operates in his basement. So, the doctor decides to have his people break into a zoo, kidnap an orangutan (not an ape, many apes, or many blood covered apes, mind you: an orangutan), and take the heart from this poor creature to give to his son. Unfortunately, the orangutan's heart works in the boy, but it turns him into a horrible creature that kind of resembles an ape if you squint. Needless to say, mindless carnage ensues. Also, there is a largely unrelated Mexican wrestling sub-plot.

Why I Liked this Movie: Everything about this movie is horrible. There is not one, genuinely redeeming quality in the whole film other than the good time that you can have making fun of it.

Why I didn't Like It: See above.

Why It's on the List: Now I know what you're saying: This movie was made (depending on whom you speak with) either in 1968 or 1972, and as we all know, 1968 or 1972 is not within my high school career. However, a big part of my high school experience was getting together with friends and watching poorly made horror movies and making fun of them, and this was probably my very favorite one to watch because it was so terrible.

The only other movies that can even begin to compare with this movie in terms of sheer awfulness (at least that I've seen) are Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Psychos in Love, and that great horror picture, Slugs. And yes, that last one is about exactly what you think it is.

Watching this movie and movies like it are some of my best memories from high school, and that's why it's on the list.

EDIT: I apologize; when I wrote that Night of the Bloody Apes was number three, I meant that Pride and Prejudice (1995) was number three. My apologies to any people who were confused.

5 comments:

Red Riding Hood said...

I knew it! I knew you meant Pride and Prejudice. I mean how could you pick a bloody ape/man over Mr. Darcy? You wouldn't! hooray!

Saint Me said...

Oooooooooooooooooh... Pride and Prejudice. Good times.

Thinking in Ohio said...
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Thinking in Ohio said...

I love those B-quality horror movies! My parents terrified me at the age of five with the original "Night of the Living Dead"... so what did I do? I kept up the family heritage! I bought the movie and tortured my five year old... of course, he loved every minute of it. Say, you never saw "Plan Nine from Outer Space" did you? That was the pure awfulest horror movie ever made... that really was torture when my Dad made me watch it... uuggghhhh!

Analyst Catalyst said...

"Plan 9 from Outer Space" is always on the short list of bad movies in the back of my mind to watch, but I have not seen it yet.

Also, that's terrific that "Night of the Living Dead" is a family tradition for your family. I don't think that I've ever seen the original all the way through, although it is on the short list of good horror movies to watch.

Oddly enough, one of the plays that I did for a theatre group in high school was a rewritten version of "Night of the Living Dead." It seems peculiar to me that live theatre hasn't expanded into this genre any more readily, as it seems that it would be even more scary with "real live" zombies walking around.