Friday, October 20, 2006

It Puts the Fear of God in Me

So, for the last couple of days, going to my domecile has been a harrowing experience for me. This is due to the fact that a spider, who is probably not as large as the one pictured but is nevertheless just as, if not more, scary, has decided to take up residence at the top of the stairwell that ends just before the door to my apartment.

You may be asking, how can any spider possibly be as, if not more, terrifying than the pictured one?

I'll tell you.

Upon a somewhat close analysis of the spider, I discovered that the creature was furry. Therefore, the creature is not only overflowing with deadly poison, it is also able to keep itself warm in the winter.

This haunts me; it is as if this creature is saying, "My luxurious winter coat will keep me quite warm and content during this cold season, and so, given the opportunity, I will be able to sneak into your apartment, lay eggs in your ear, and bite you repeatedly in the eye. Suck it."

So, if any of you enjoy both enjoy being petrified and helping old AC out, I would sincerely appreciate it if someone would take care of this mother before it grows anymore.

Or lays eggs in my ear.

2 comments:

That Spider What Lives Above AC's Stairwell And Comes Into His Apartment At Night To Watch Him Sleep said...

Dear AC,

I enjoy watching you sleep.

Love,

That Spider What Lives Above Your Stairwell And Comes Into Your Apartment At Night To Watch You Sleep

miss thany said...

Try shooting the spider with cleaning chemicals. It might kill him.




.........................or it might make him stronger.







..........................and bigger.








..........................and glow in the dark.