Monday, April 24, 2006

Another Day in Paradise

I complain from time to time about my job; this should come as no surprise to anyone who reads this page. I don't think that this is the most upright thing that I can be doing concerning my current situation, but I think that, for right now, it's okay because it reminds me what my true dreams and aspirations are. In working here, I am fully taking advantage of the fact that everything is permissable, and I'll even go so far as to say that my working here is advisable given some unfortunate monetary decisions of the past couple of years.

However, this whole job would be worthless if I couldn't find some joy in it. I think that that's part of the reason why I started this blog; to seek out what my motivations are for being here, to try to make sense of what I'm doing here, and to make people smile at my arduous journey through it all. I believe that, with each post, I am accomplishing this with various degrees of success, and that, with each post, I am able to understand myself through the concrete form of written communication versus the abstract form of human thought, because despite the similarities between the two, by actually having written them instead of just thinking them, my thoughts become a physical part of me that I, and others, can then understand.

Writing also aids my perspective. Though I am certainly discontent with my current occupation, the fact that I will not let myself be here forever gives me happiness. When things are rough, I rest in the notion that, unlike those whose whole careers are encapsulated in what they accomplish today, the rest of my life has little bearing on what I do work-wise today. My accomplishments at home practicing are much more valuable to me than anything here.

So how then do I live? Do I do everything at work as poorly as I can? Logically, if I don't care about being here, why then do well?

The answer is that throughout the rest of my life, I will be presented with tasks that I could give a flying flip about. If I choose to do poorly now (as funny as I think it would be to be fired for gross incompetence), doing poorly will then be my first choice for how to act in similar circumstances for the rest of my life. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is not how I want my tiny smudge on the timeline of human events to look.

*Exhale* I apologize for this ideological tirade. We will resume regularly scheduled programming with the next post.


angela said...

Well, I was randomly looking at blogs and yours came up. I felt this was a good thought I liked some of your others as well.

I did not major in music, but I took alot of performance classes in college...then I became an elementary teacher. Now I am a stay at home mom and sing with a gospel band.

I hope you get to do some of your music...I didn't see anything on here about that, but I hope so.

All the best!


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