Wednesday, June 28, 2006

?Porque Dios, Porque?

The time? 11:03 p.m.
The location? The street that takes me home.
The situation? Innapropriate.

As I was making my way home last night at the above mentioned time, I saw someone walking a dog on the side of the road. Normally this would not even attract my attention, but there was something out of the ordinary happening with this dog-walker. I noticed that the person was wearing short shorts and a see-through shirt.

At eleven o'clock at night. It's hot here, but not that hot.

Now, it wasn't like she was wearing the clothes and didn't have the body for it; she actually had a fairly nice physique, but I was still astonished when I saw her dressed that way.

I could only think, "What is this chick's deal?"

Nevertheless, I then looked up at her face, to get a better look at this apparent sorority girl who just didn't know any better. When I got to the face, I realized that this woman had a good forty years on me.

It is at these times that those of us in the male gender feel an uncomfortable situation, er, between the legs. It is a sensation that also accompanies seeing something really gross or inhumane, like the disemboweling scene in Braveheart or how I would imagine audiences would have felt when they realized that the girl in The Crying Game was actually a boy. Let's leave it with the fact that I suddenly wished that I did not possess an X and a Y chromosome.

My immediate response was to yell, "Why didn't I start with the face?" The person riding in the car with me just laughed and looked at me as if to say, "You silly boy; Trix are for kids," but then the person that I ride with always laughs and looks at me that way, so I didn't really need to take note of it.


FlippingChipmunk said...

I'm sorry you had to witness that.

And I know exactly that sensation of which you speak. That kind of numbing, tingling, weird feeling. Eeesh!

Analyst Catalyst said...

Yeah, it was pretty sick.

My girlfriend made fun of me yesterday: "You checked out your grandma! HAHAHAHAH!"