Friday, June 30, 2006

The Seventh Circle of Hell

I don't know why, exactly, as my office building is fairly modern looking and it is in an apparent perpetual state of remodeling, but the bathroom on the floor I work on smells bad. And by bad, I mean that it wouldn't surprise if when I got to work on Monday the boss called us in and told us that a dead body had been stashed in the drain of the men's bathroom for the past eight months.

The stink is so bad that although I used to see cockroaches in there from time to time (again, why?), I no longer see them in there. It is as if the cockroaches got together and said, "What is that terrible smell? That's revolting! Hey Carl, let's take the fecal matter that we eat and move elsewhere."*

I suspect that, if you turned up the heat in the bathroom so high that you actually burst into flames by walking in, that that would be kind of what hell would be like. Although, I guess, if you're on fire, disgusting odors are probably the least of your worries.

*Cockroaches may or may not actually eat poop. I don't want a lawsuit on my hands for defaming them.

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