The Apprentice

Something that I like about The Apprentice is that the reward is always fitting to the task, but not literally. Last night the winners "got" to swim with sharks, for example. What I mean is that when the premise of the show is to see who will jump through the most hoops to make a lot of money at a job working for a very rich man, it is nice to see that the short term wins are also extremely transitory. It's like, "Hey, none of what you're doing makes any difference, here are some arbitrary and short-termed gifts to make you feel special!" Sounds good to me!

All right, enough congratulating. Let's get to the griping!

Why oh why oh why did the Heather Graham look-a-like in charge of the team that lost think that a stand-up comedian would be a good idea? To make matters worse, they were trying to sell cars to a group of rich old men, and it was a female comedienne who was extremely off-color. Now as I am neither rich nor old, I am going out on a limb here, but if I were a rich man (deedle deedle deidle deedle deidle dum...sorry, couldn't resist), I would think that I would be much more likely to buy something from someone if instead of a comedienne, you, I don't know, PUT SOMEONE UP THERE WHO KNOWS ABOUT THE CAR!

Heather Graham must have thought that the respone would have gone something like this:
Now maybe this has worked for her before, but it didn't work last night.

But that's not even the worst part. Those of you who know me might say this slur in the next clause is the pot calling the kettle black, but I really, really, really hate the fat guy. Even though the fat guy's team won, if I were Donald Trump I would have called the fat guy into the board room and fired him. If he objected, I would have had somebody punch him in the face. But that's me. Obviously the Donald is far more long-suffering than I am; how else can you explain the hair?

Seriously, does nobody have the guts to tell the man, "Uh, excuse me sir, but you might consider getting a hair cut as your current hair looks sort of like a squirrel got up on your head and died."

Perhaps he tried to sell his soul to the devil for great riches, but the devil was in a funny mood, and decided that he would rather have one of the richest and most publicized men in the world have the worst haircut imaginable. That is funny. Touche, devil, touche.