Wednesday, March 22, 2006

The Apprentice

I was just searching to see what happened on the last episode of The Apprentice, and I learned that Brent (aka "The fat guy that I wanted to punch in a previous post") got fired by the Donald. I unfortunately missed the episode because I thought for a little while that going out and doing things with actual people was more important than staying at home and watching tv. I now understand the error of my ways. Please forgive me, oh purveyor of things reasonably entertaining.

In learning what happened in the last episode, I went to Brent's little section on the NBC Website, and it listed some of Brent's favorite things. But before we take a look at his favorite things, let's take a look at his picture.

Now, as far as a few of his favorite things, they include rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens, etc. Oh, and nuns. Don't forget the nuns.

In honesty, though, he lists dance music as his favorite type of music. I am not what you might call aerodynamically inclined, despite the fact that I am what you would call awesome at DDR for PS2, and by awesome I mean I do pretty well if it's not too fast or too hard. I, as most of us would have, would think that Brent would be facing similar dancing circumstances, but, with his favorite type of music being dance music, I would have to think that he must enjoy going out and dancing, but I would have to imagine that other people would not like his dancing as much as he likes to dance.

In his defense, at least it looks like he's having a good time in this fictional scenario.

But you know what? That's fine. Good for him. I'm glad that he likes dancing. I'm sure it provides him with happiness.

Let's see, what else does he like? It says that his favorite book is Green Eggs and Ham, which is kind of cute. My own personal favorite book is The Giving Tree, so I guess that I can't hold his choice in reading materials against him.

But what I think is the most interesting about his favorites are his movie choices. He likes a long string of comedies (Vacation, European Vacation, Christmas Vacation, Vegas Vacation, Planes Trains and Automobiles, Uncle Buck, Parenthood, Fletch), which kind of makes sense as he seems like the kind of guy that would appreciate some classic funny films, but he concludes his list with Cape Fear. Now, for those of you who don't know what this movie is about, a brief synopsis is that a family sends a man to jail, the family goes into the witness protection program, the man gets out of jail and comes after said family on a house boat because a house boat is obviously the safest place for a family to live if they have sent a convict to prison. Other popular places for people in the program to live are houses with only one entrance and exit and knife stores.

But anyways, are you serious, Brent? You're going to list a whole bunch of funny movies, and then end it with a fairly psychotic movie? I could understand if your list was full of movies like Se7en and Memento and Silence of the Lambs and Miss Congeniality 2 (Ooh, Zinger!), but to end your list in this manner makes it seem like a game of "Which One of These Is Not Like the Others?" Are you a crazy, crazy man behind the facade of frivolity? I hope not, although based on how you acted on NATIONAL FREAKING TV, perhaps the above psychoanalysis is an apt one.

Ah well, Brent, as you're dancing your nights away, you can take solace in the fact that for some reason, you weren't the first one to get fired this season. Good for you. Now get a haircut. Oh, and congrats on semi-recently getting married, by the way.

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